Tools

To understand any of where this post comes from, read this and this and this and this, and for God's sake don't miss the comments.  In part, I blame Scott for what I'm currently going through, but I blame Bill, Mike, Jon, Dennis and Dwane almost as much.

To anyone who knows me, it will come as no surprise that I'm not the most social (or socially adept) person.  Talking to people on the phone is something I do with ease, and I revile doing it.  I'd rather talk myself into hiking a slope that no fat-ass such as myself should ever attempt.  I will trade a quiet sit in the Montana woods for any exciting night-club adventure.  If it's a choice between talking about the latest trends and/or politics or discussing hunting and fishing, I'll take neither.  Give me a rod and reel or a rifle and I'm just that much happier.

This has been a great year for me.  I've been able to go fishing more, and I've taken up hunting again.  These are special things, things I've mostly forgotten.  But I will not, can not, go into a grave (hopefully many years from now) having remained forgetful.  I have renewed my love-affair with the outdoors.  A few of you might have noticed a growing silence around this blog ...

That was a long time coming, and I blame most of it on the tools I didn't have.  Though lots of women folk (and too many men) would call such things "toys", they really aren't.  I've hit my mid-life crisis, and instead of lusting a fancy sports car with which to buy 'sexy' from the image obsessed, all I really wanted was what I never had ... a truck.  My CRX rocked, my Subaru was stable, but I have wanted a mountain rig for years.  And now, thanks to my beloved pushing me in the right direction, I have one.

A little over two weeks ago, she looks at me and says, "So, you want'a go look at trucks?"  I was beyond apprehensive.  I don't like spending money, and I really don't like spending it on myself.  At all.  But now I have a truck that could climb the side of a Sequoia, and still not lose the  elk carcass in the bed.

Really early on this year, I bought a rifle.  I've never owned a gun of my own, except for the very brief time I had a bolt action 30-30.  That was a Christmas gift, and in the generous spirit of the folks who gave it to me, they took it away when my ex-wife left me.  They did leave me the bullets, spitzer tipped which are unusable for a lever action rifle, and hence almost impossible to get rid of.  I still have those, by the way, should anyone have a rifle that can fire them.  Life always seemed to get in the way of gun ownership.  It would be more accurate to say that my sense of proper expenditure got in the way of gun ownership, I guess.  But this year, I had the opportunity to buy a hunting rifle for a terrific price.  I couldn't refuse payment for such a capable weapon.  And so I bought it...

The nicest thing of all about a somewhat harsh life lived is that I see these things for what they are.  Tools.  In this case, I see them as tools to build happiness.  I live in Montana.  I've never been a great hunter, though I am a capable fisherman of trout.  These are the things that make this state valuable to me, and I've only now begun to really explore what that means.

Many (too many) years ago, I made a conscious choice to stay in this state, knowing full well that monetary  opportunities were better elsewhere.  It's taken a long time, probably a little too long, to get the tools that help me build an idea as to why I was correct when that choice was made so many years ago.

Comments

[Shane C. Mason]

Buought a new gun? A new truck? Sounds like a Montana mid-life crisis to me. ;)

[Erica]

Damnit, Wolfgar! You just made me incredibily homesick. Consider yourself virtually kicked in the shins.

[Brit]

And I cannot tell you how happy that Moorcat and I are that you made the choice to stay here. Almost as happy as we are about his choice to return.

Many happy days drivin' the rig and firin' the gun. 2 steps closer to being a MOOSE TRAPPER!!!!!!!!

Love ya....Britt

[Scott]

Gun totin' pickup truck drivin' libruls!?

Where am I!?

Montana, of course.

[grannyinsanity]

Good for you!

I'm a little shot myself at this point and would love to get out in the middle of nowhere. Maybe after I get the rice krispies out of all my envelopes...