A Chicken Is Not Pillage

This Is How The Zompocalypse Begins

I especially love the cameo by 'Michelle Malkin' ...

A Trio Of Treats

I'm posting this up a day early for Halloween, because I generally don't have the time to post *ON* Halloween.  Besides, who wants to spend Halloween skulking on the Intertubes.  I wanted to do a link post, but feel shamed by the epic past endeavors of certain Batgrl.  She would flood the 'tubes with more Halloween goodness in one place than any human could stand.  Perhaps that was her plan, to drive us mad with All-Hallows Eve joy.  Regardless, I am not her, and can only make a shallow attempt at doing justice to this holiday.

In my neighborhood, there are usually no trick-or-treaters at all.  So, when one does show up at the door, my beloved (and most everyone else in the hood) over indulges them with more candy than is sensible.  So here is my indulgence; the title says 3; expect more.

First, I don't comment at Metafilter anymore, but I still read it.  From there, I encountered one of the best analysis of monster might anywhere.  From Threat Quality Press, A Hierarchy of Monsters.  Please, do not stop there.  The comments to the Metafilter thread are priceless, especially those from  robocop is bleeding.

To really look at a hierarchy of threat, we need to start from the perspective of a potential victim and work our way up from there. As I can tell you from personal experience, there is little practical difference in being locked in a closet while the corpse of your dead wife, animated through dread magics, pounds on the door with cold, unyielding fists and being lost in a Bavarian forest, running from a chorus of howls and snarling, fanged mouths.

In the end, the victim's life will end. Whether it ends at the claws of a werewolf, fangs of a vampire, axe of a drowned kid, or nightmare of a dreamstalker doesn't matter.

This is quality stuff.

Second, the always clever Dave Merriman sends a link to the must-have insurance of the current century.  The other poseurs can move aside.  My Zombie Insurance is the product needed for the Zombpocalypse.

Third, enough with the imprecise verbiage!  WonderMark gives us the terms we need.  Presenting the Stoakes-Wibley Natural Index of Supernatural Collective Nouns.  It should be no surprise that my favorite is 'a vexation of zombies'.

Finally, I am not a video gamer.  I like games, and have played many.  However, a game must have a certain something to appeal to me.  Creepiness is high on my list of gaming joys.  Doom 3 had it's moments; F.E.A.R. was just shock value lame.  Undying remains one of my favorite games of all time.  But back in the old dark days of DOS, Phantasmagoria was all that and then some.  The video, filmed with live actors, was simply gravy to the creepy music and actual game exploration.  It is the videos that brought out the creepy flavor of all the weird stuff you had to do to prepare *not* to get killed in a horrific manner.  I know I'm probably johnny-come-lately to this, but the murderous cut-scenes have been posted online, and I-Mockery has compiled them in one handy spot for your horror viewing pleasure.  Yes, I know the demon looks stupid in the extreme, but this was revolutionary stuff as regards gaming.  And more to point, it was horrific.

Well, that's all I got.  Except this:

Fashion Freak
Uploaded by ptitepapaye. - Watch more music videos, in HD

Yes I know I've posted that before.  But that video is becoming something of holiday tradition with me ...

Happy Halloween, folks.

Zombie Workout

I don't even know how to describe this.  It just kinda has to be seen.

It's About Time

Thank God for the University of Florida.  They have recognized what we all should hold as the biggest threat to our national freedoms:  the zombies.  Oh sure, other institutions will offer preparedness documents to save our souls against WMDs and lone shooters.  But when that rotting bloody corpse tries to bite your ear off?  No.  Only UF cares enough to provide a preparedness plan.

And, if you need the short version to print and put in your wallet, try this:

 

My suggestion?  Always go heavily armed.

Zombieland

Now, this looks fun.

Zombieland.  This is easily the role that Woody Harrelson was born to play.  But I must say, I still don't cotton to zombies running.  Zombies don't run.  That's a fact, brother ... A FACT.

However, I have been remiss and slacking.  I cannot apologize enough for having never brought you The Zombie World News.

Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome

It's about time science caught up with the war at hand.  I offer you:

How a zombie brain works.

Motivation ... and BRAAIIINS

Dead Rising motivational posters.  Get yours today.

Then lock and load.

Portraits Of The Living Dead

There's not much left to say... except that  I'd be most worried about Barbara Cartland.

If This Election Were A Movie ... and ZOMBIES!

British comedic writer Charlie Brooker pens an article for the Guardian, in two parts, that is a must read.  The first part posits that this past election were a movie.  My favorite bits:

President Barack Obama. President Barack Obama. Nope, still can't get used to it. It's literally too good to be true. I must've died in my sleep and am now having an insane fantasy pumped into my head by the Matrix. Any minute now Salma Hayek is going to float through the door with a tray of biscuits and I'll know the game's up.

...

And what was with the whole Joe the Plumber sub-plot? I mean, c'mon, they invited him on tour and everything. As if. In the real world, no one would've bought that for a second. That's precisely the sort of thing that breaks the all-important suspension of disbelief. It didn't help that the guy they cast to play him, Michael Chiklis, is instantly recognisable from his leading role as the corrupt, brutal cop Vic Mackey in the hit TV series The Shield.

But the core of the article is this.  Charlie Brooker wrote a short series for British TV called Dead Set.  And yes, it does have zombies.  (I can't wait to see it!)  But you see, it has a problem.   The zombies run, and that's a no no.  As my friend and zombie expert Derek taught us so well:

zombies DON'T RUN. It's a fact, brother . . . a FACT. :)

Apparently Simon Pegg agrees.  You know Simon, otherwise known as Shaun of the Dead.  It seems Simon was none too happy with Charlie for his running zombies.  Charlie responds.  My favorite bits:

3) We had to clearly and immediately differentiate Dead Set from Shaun of the Dead, which had cornered the market on zombie-centric horror-comedy. Blame yourself, Simon: if you'd made that film badly, it wouldn't have been so popular, and drawing a distinction wouldn't have been an issue. Each time one of our zombies breaks into a sprint, it's your own stupid talented fault.

...

Face facts. It's time to embrace diversity, Simon. Make room in your heart for all breeds of zombie. Except ones that talk. They're just silly.

These arguments matter.  You know that, right?

My Heroes Have Always Been ... Zombies?

If you have a problem with gore, you'd best avoid this post.

First, Jay Stevens sent me a link that I had seen, but didn't have the time to share.  With deep thanks to Jay, I share it now.  I've always marveled at the intricacies of 'claymation' (stop motion animation with clay objects.)  To me, Ray Harryhausen is a GOD.  But this following video truly takes the cake for imaginative creativity.  I give you, Chainsaw Maid:

But, there's more.  Anyone who considers themselves an Internet geek has surely spent an amount of time reading comic books.  My favorites, as should any right thinking person be, are Batman and those from Marvel™ (X-Men, Spider Man, Fantastic Four, etc.)  Over the years, Marvel has played games with their characters, much of which I haven't kept up with.  But one idea that has crossed my radar is the Marvel Zombies stuff.  Imagine the greatest super-heroes in the world as flesh-eating zombies. 

As evidenced by the popularity of the idea, I'm not the only one fascinated by it.  I offer you now, gentle reader, a fan created trailer for a movie of the Marvel Zombies universe.