A Chicken Is Not Pillage

Stupified!

I realize that this is only the end of week one.  But could someone, anyone, please fer-the-luv-a-God explain to me how a team that totally crushed, murdelated and destroyed its opponent could wind up in the power rankings at #19?  That puts them below the middle of the pack, and places them below 6 teams that lost.  That includes the Vikings, the Browns and the Seahawks, all of whom grossly embarrassed themselves by losing badly while appearing on broadcast National television.  And the Broncos are less powerful for having whooped Oakland's ass in primetime without their premier reciever ... and looking damned good while doing it?

Somebody at ESPN needs to have their farooking head examined!

Hard Men In A Hard Game. It Has Begun

I would love to be able to wow every sports fan with my football acumen and pick the Divisions this year.  I simply can't.  I watched less than one half of pre-season football, so objectively speaking, I don't know shit about what's going to happen this season.  I've tried to keep up with my reading, but even that has suffered.  I'll get back to you after the first 4 weeks are over and give my thoughts.  Until then, a few toss offs:

1)  Jack's predictions are probably as good as any ... except
    a)  The Jet's failed to live up to their promise last year, and Favre won't help them that much.
    b)  The Patriots seem completely discombobulated.  That may be a Belichick trick, but I'm thinking not.
    c)  Jacksonville takes the AFC South.
    d)  Just as last year, the worst Division in the NFL will be the NFC South, not the West.

2)  I know that Zorn is new to this head-coaching dealie, but shouldn't he have informed his players that the pre-season is over and last night's game was for really real?  I have two words to describe the Redskins last night:  Lack and Lustre, (or perhaps woe and full).

3)  The two break-away stars of the season are going to be Denver's Branden Marshall and Minnesota's Adrian Peterson.  To be honest, I think Peterson is gonna tear this league up.

4)  Oakland will regret paying JaMarcus Russell for his ego.  Just as the Jet's will regret paying Favre for his and as Green Bay will regret not having him.

5)  Unheralded teams that could be on the verge of a great showing:  Detroit, Cleveland and Houston.  These three are definately gonna piss in somebody's punch bowl.

Bring it on, 'cause I'm ready for some football.

Thoughts On Game

Empathy and Sympathy.  I honestly and for true have  a deep empathy for Patriots fans on this day.  I watched my Broncos suffer the worst defeats in Super Bowl history, at the hands of the Giants, the Redskins (worst defeat ever) and the 49ers.  I understand and feel the shock and disbelief.  It just wasn't supposed to happen that way.  For you folks, it was deeply tragic because the undefeated season was on the line.  'Not much I can say, other than it will fade.  The only sympathy I feel, is for Junior Seau.  I've seen his drive and ambition for what feels like 40 years.  He deserves the brass ring, but not this time.  I feel *no* sympathy for Tom Brady, taking solace in the arms of his latest super-model girlfriend; or Randy Moss, who showed at least enough class to stay on the field for the final 30 seconds; or for Bill Belichick, the guy who simply projects that it was all supposed to be about him.

Who won again?  It has been written and said a thousand times in the last 24 hours that the Patriots 'lost the game'.   Yes, they sure as hell did.  But that's the wrong side of the story, and the weakest of viewpoints.  They lost the game, not because they didn't play the game others carry around in their heads.  They lost the game because they got beat by the better football team on the day.  As my friend Mark said so very well, the Giants brought their A-Game, and they stuffed it right down Brady's throat.  As my friend Julio says so very well, Michigan quarterbacks rattle under pressure, and the Giants brought the smack-down all evening long.  Brady didn't have an 'off-day'.  He had a day of fearing for his life and limb.  Manning didn't rattle and he didn't throw 'hopes and prayers'.  He played like a professional should play, and if Favre or anyone else had played to Eli's level, he would be lauded as "bold", "unshakable", "a leader."  So I don't want to hear about bad coaching, or luck, or officiating (which was actually great for the playoffs) or any other reason why the 'better team' lost.  The better team didn't lose, the Giants beat them.  The Giants won.

Old Guys.  It is sad to think that we have probably seen the last of Junior Seau and Michael Strahan.  Both of those guys can still play like all get-out.

Most Valuable Player.  I've heard it all by now, about how that award belongs to the Giants defense, especially the D line.  Get over it.  First, it ain't MVPees; it's MVP.  Second, the Giants D is what let Randy Moss score with 2 and a half minutes on the clock.  I'm not taking a thing away from them, because they played one helluva game.  But still, it was the New York defense that let Brady take the lead.  Be honest, I'm not the only one who thought the game was over at that point.  But no.  It was Eli Manning who brought the Giants back.  The same Eli Manning who can't play in pressure games.  The same Eli Manning who can't control the pocket and loses composure outside of it.  The same Eli Manning who is slower than Grandma Moses.  The Eli Manning who can't buy a win if the temperature dips below 40 degrees.  I'm certain he's heard it all.  And I'm certain that he lead the *TEAM* down the field and scored when they had to.  There is not one doubt in my mind that  the younger Manning deserves his place alongside his brother.  If God hates us, then those 2 will  die in a fiery wreck while racing their matching Cadillacs.  If God loves us, and I think he does, then we will see Payton versus Eli in the Show ... perhaps not next year, but soon.

The Best.  There is no doubt that the Patriots were the best football team this year.  The pundits keep attempting to make hay with the idea that Super Bowl losers fall and fail the next season.  Na'gonna'hap'n.  The Patriots will be back.

Tears.  The crowd at my Casa mostly wanted to see Brady crying while bemoaning his defeat.  What was truly touching was seeing the ego of Plaxico Burress accept that something greater than himself had occurred, and the tears flowed.  But what affected me most was seeing Archie Manning choke up, while expressing his love, admiration and true pride in his sons.

Unbeatable.  I sincerely hope that ever a football commentator uses that term again, that Alex Karras or other suitably huge and mean individual comes running in to kick them in the nuts.  That word should never have been uttered, much less bandied around as much as it was this year.  Unbeaten is a descriptor.  Unbeatable is an arrogant and silly prediction.

Leavegate.  Really, get over it.  Belichick left the field.  So what?  It wasn't the offense that Moss pulled leaving the field when there was still game to be played.  This is a non-controversy.  That having been said, yes, Belichick is a Douchebag.

Great Game.  Seriously, this is what we watch football for.  For most of my life, I have greeted the post-Super Bowl period with sadness.  For the first time in a very long while, I feel satisfied.   That was a great game; two great teams fought it out for 60 full minutes.  I can ride on that for a while.  I'm sated and yet hungry for more, and that's what the game is all about.  Bring on next season.

17 -14

I hope no one minds, but I'm just going sit around smiling for a while.

More tomorrow, maybe.

Conference Championships 2008

Unusual.  That's the best word to describe my outlook on this weekend's games.  Usually, I am more excited for the Conference championship games than I am for the Super Bowl.  But not this year.  Usually, I most look forward to the AFC title game.   But not this year.  I find myself overwhelmed with "Whatever ..."  So, I'll be brief in my predictions.

NFC

New York Giants (5) at Green Bay Packers (2)

The fight for the Halas comes to Green Bay, and that's the most enjoyable aspect of this game.  I love watching football in the heavy weather, and Green Bay should have a wealth of that tomorrow.  Watching Favre is always a treat, especially in games like last week's was.

The Giants might make a game of it, with that impressive pass rush they possess.  But, Eli Manning has yet to prove he can play in bad weather.   We'll see if he can turn that around.

New York - 24, Green Bay 38

San Diego Chargers (3) at New England Hatriots (1)

Dan Dierdorf came close to saying  what truly must be said; the Chargers and the Colts beat the living crap out of each other last week.  The Patriots, on the other hand, played  the closest I have ever seen to a perfect game.  There is no point here to belabor.

San Diego - 10, New England - 42

Divisional Playoffs - 2008

I was 4 for 4 last week; none too shabby at all.   Of course, the  game I thought would be the closest was a fairly significant  thumping of the  Bucs.  Eli Manning played flawlessly (if not terribly inspired) and at one point went 11 for 11.  The Giants had control through the whole game.  I expected the Seattle game to be closer than it was, and even thought the Redskins might somehow pull it out.  Not a chance.  Seattle got them and then didn't let up.

The two games I expected to be blowouts weren't at all.  Once again, I pledge my undying respect to the Pittsburgh Steelers.  There was no way that they should have hung with the Jags, and yet Pittsburgh  came damned close to beating them.  And could somebody please explain to me how the Chargers could look so weak against a not-so-good looking Tennessee team?  Good defense is a poor explanation for that game, because neither defense looked all that stellar (expect for the Titans against the run).  Still, the Bolts advance.

NFC

Seattle Seahawks (3) at Green Bay Packers (2)

I really have to give the Seahawks credit.  That defense against Washington was just smothering.  I knew Hasselbeck shines in the playoffs, but I thought they would have to generate a running game to beat the 'Skins.  Not so.  They used the short passing game to emulate the run, and dominated because of it.  (That tactic I believe to be the key for several teams this weekend.)

Unfortunately for Seattle, Green Bay throws the long ball.  Favre is having the season of his career and I seriously doubt he will hold anything back this weekend.  As things stand right now, I'd have to give the overall defensive edge to the Seahawks, but the threat to score points in a hurry will keep Green Bay on top.

Seattle - 14, Green Bay -21

New York Giants (5) at Dallas Cowboys

First things first.  If Jessica is in the stands, all bets are on the Giants.

I really don't want to pick an upset here, but it's hard not to.  Even forgetting the throw-away game of week 17, the Cowboys haven't looked good since December 1.  They're not running the ball, and lately haven't been passing all that well either.  T.O. is dinged, Romo is dinged.  And, being more than passingly familiar with Wade Phillips, I'm not certain that he's the right kind of coach to toughen his squad up for a serious playoff struggle.  When the Cowboys are having fun, they win.  Lately, they haven't looked like they're having fun.

The Giants, on the other hand, are best when they get serious.  Last week they looked as serious as a heart attack.  I totally apologize for any early season dissing that I may have leveled at Strahan.  He, and that entire New York front, made Garcia's life miserable last week.  Romo can expect the same ... or worse.  The question for the Giants is again, Eli Manning.  Can he have two solid games in a row?  I think so.  Putting the pressure on Brandon Jacobs has matured Eli's decision making.  No, I don't want to pick an upset, but ...

New York - 27, Dallas -21

AFC

San Diego Chargers (3) at Indianapolis Colts (2)

The Bolts were spectacularly unimpressive against Tennessee.  I truly expected better.  Their defense shows better numbers than Indy's, but they played a surprisingly disorganized game against the Titans.   If they do that again this weekend, Payton will eat them alive.

And in fact, that's exactly what I expect.

San Diego - 17, Indianapolis -31

Jacksonville Jaguars (5) at New England Patriots (1)

This is the game I've been looking forward to for weeks now.  And before it's ever played, I'm already disappointed.

Dear Coach Del Rio,

Kindly remind your players that professional football requires 60 minutes of effort.  Thank you.

Signed, every fan who desires the defeat of the Patriots.

In the second half of last week's game, Jacksonville laid back and gave Pittsburgh the underneath routes.  So what if they only picked up a few yards per throw.  Pittsburgh parlayed that into a lead, and would have won the game except for a phenomenally silly quarterback bootleg by Roethlisberger.   New England has spent their entire season substituting the short pass for lack of a running threat.  If Jacksonville tries that passive defense crap again, they will get blown out.

Now that that rant is out of the way, Jacksonville can win this by attacking the Patriot's weaknesses ...hard! ... as only Jacksonville can.  The teams that came closest to beating the Pats all did it with pressure on Brady, and a heavy dose of the running game.  Nobody runs like the Jags, as a team, that is.  Moss may have a few glory moments.  But if Del Rio has the run game going, the Ego Who Walks Like A Man won't have much chance.

Jacksonville - 24, New England - 21

(My final prediction is that this week I will likely go only 2 for 4.)

Wildcard Playoffs - 2008

Without further ado,

NFC

Washington Redskins (6) at Seattle Seahawks (3)

Seattle is a downright scary place to play; the Twelfth Man is intimidating to just about everybody and that translates into wins.  We all should have learned some time ago that discounting Hasselbeck (especially with Engram playing hot) is a sure fire way to lose.  But, Seattle has been as inconsistent as all get out this year, and Washington is on a hot streak.  Clinton Portis has run for 450+ yards in the last four games, and Collins is making people ask "Jason Campbell who?"   Washington's defense has really stepped up, and is playing far superior to the Seahawks right now.

The X-factor, if there needs to be one, is in Mike Holmgren's head.  After watching Seattle's last couple of games, it's really appeared as if Holmgren is distracted or just tired of it all.  What bearing that will have on the game is anybody's guess.   Still,  that home field advantage is formidable ...

Washington - 24, Seattle - 31

New York Giants ( 5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4)

If  Seattle is the model of inconsistency, then  New York is the mold the model was made from.  The Giant's inconsistency  pretty much all boils down to two things; receivers who drop passes (yeah, I'm looking at you, Plaxico) and Eli Manning turn overs.  If you expect those things from the Giants, then this game should be easy to call.  But hold on a second.  Inconsistency swings both ways, even in the course of a single game.  The Giants have some confidence after last week, and Eli doesn't appear as befuddled by his own mistakes as he did earlier on.  Plus, the Giants are really good on the road.

Now I'm going to disagree with the majority of pundits, and probably upset any Chucky fan who reads this post.  The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are *not* that good a football team.  Yes, they have some terrific players (Garcia, Barber, the Offensive line) but this team went 9-7, with 5 of the 9 wins in the most woefully bad division in football, the NFC South.  It's easy to stack the numbers when you've played Atlanta twice in a season.  Nothing I've seen from Tampa Bay this year convinces me that they are the caliber of squad that wins against the Giants.  I'm picking upset.

New York - 17, Tampa Bay - 10

AFC

Jacksonville Jaguars (5) at Pittsburgh Steelers (4)

This is one of two games in which the visiting team has a better record than the home squad.  Now, I think it's impossible to have grown up in the seventies and not have the 'warm fuzzies' for the Steelers.  Their championship of 2 years ago is somewhat legendary.  Conversely, Jacksonville is one of the teams that I just don't like.  All that said, this game can't be picked on emotion.

Those Jags are good ... very very good.  And the Steelers are hurt ... very very hurt.  Home field means nothing when the Jags have already been to Pittsburgh and defeated the Steelers *in the snow*.  I won't belabor the point, but this game is gonna be quick and brutal.

Jacksonville - 27, Pittsburgh - 13

Tennessee Titans (6) at San Diego Chargers (4)

The official line on this game is 9 points.  It should be more.  The Titans play physical ball, true, but the Chargers are peaking at exactly the right time.  The running game is clicking, which should take pressure off of Rivers.  The Titans showed earlier this year that they have a problem keeping track of Antonio Gates.  Shawne Merriman, on the other hand, has no problem keeping track of Vince Young (who will be playing wounded as it is.)  In addition to home field advantage (which never seems to mean much in sunny San Diego) the Chargers have something they didn't have last year.  They have shown, especially in the last several weeks, a full on commitment to playing 60 intense minutes of football.  Tennessee won some games this year because opponents slacked off.  Not this time.

Tennessee - 10, San Diego - 31

From Every Ending, A New Beginning Comes

... unless, of course, it's the Rapture ... which strangely didn't happen in 2007 as predicted.  Hmmm.

First, Happy New Year to you all.  Since I've been flailing around like a plastic bag caught in a tree top, I didn't get around to wishing you the best greetings for Christmas or the New Year in any individual form.  Hopefully this small greet will do.

Second, to Randy.  There was an Act Two, but it was really anti-climatic.  It was obvious when Jackoff called that A)  he wanted to soak me for money, and B) he expected me to stiff him.  After he called it was truly my intention to do just that, let him pay for his 50 dollar ladder all by himself.  But, after a day of conscience pangs, I figured I'd do the right thing.  I called my insurance company and put in the claim, with the knowledge that I will be screwed on rates, and the hope that he will attempt insurance fraud.  Regardless, I am comforted by these things:  A)  He's the one with the employee who will risk his clients and assets (the dogs and the sleds and the truck) by parking in the middle of the road, B)  I can still screw with him by advertising his employee's lapse in judgment (though I strangely haven't yet), and C) global warming will put his ass out of business soon enough.

Third, there's been some folk crowing because the DOJ isn't looking up Conrad Burns' ass with a microscope anymore.   Disregarding their erroneous assumption that the DOJ ever did any such thing with diligence, I find it amusing that so many see this as a victory of some sort.  It's almost as if there are those who think that Jon Tester should give his seat back to Conrad Burns.  To me, it's just amusing.  Almost universally, people are confusing the legal definition of 'guilty' with the opinionated assessment that Burns is a slimeball.  Those aren't the same thing.  No, he won't be prosecuted.  At no point does that mean that Burns was good Senator for Montana, or that anyone owes an apology for saying so.  The better man won, and I'm actually proud of that fact.  So, some of those other folk can just suck it up and deal.

Along those same lines, I'm noticing a real disturbing trend among those who revile Tester for *not* bringing the pork to Montana.  They're often the same people who don't like governmental pork spending, and supported Conrad Burns anyway.  But Tester bad, Burns good?  Burns did bring the pork ... to Michigan, the Marianas, Alaska and most of the South.  Montana too, until he got that old time conservatism religion.  All I can say is, suck the teat or wean yourselves.  Which is it to be? And to that special commenter out there (at another website) who seems to believe that everyone who voted Tester regrets it, I don't.  It was the right thing to do, and I'm proud of most of what he's done.

Fourth, My predictions for the Iowa caucuses:  I don't care.   Shane had it exactly right.

Fifth, Hey, moron, links to or from websites aren't indictments.  My sincerest 2008 wish for you is that you grasp the obvious hint that disagreement isn't evil.  Sometimes, it's even a healthy thing.

Sixth, support your national bloodsucker (or demonic entity).   Personally, I prefer zombies.  You can just shoot them in the head.

Seventh, I Am Legend exceeded my expectations.  The Last Man On Earth is still most true to Matheson's book, but that's not a knock for the current film.  And if Will Smith doesn't at least get an Oscar nomination for the film, then it's definitely time to riot in the streets.

The rest is just football, so skip on by, if you are so inclined.

Eighth, I really do hate the Patriots, but not for the things that Craig brought up in his podcast last night.  It's Randy Moss, who I do morally loath, Bill Belachick (same reason) and the mythification of a team called the 'Patriots'.  Regardless, they are beautiful to watch, and I hope that Jacksonville crushes them into the dirt.  I will congratulate them if ... IF ... they can finish what they've started.

Ninth, sorry Jack the blogger, but the AFC West isn't the worst.  They tied for really bad with the NFC West, but the NFC South really stunk the place up.  In all fairness, Atlanta had too much to deal with this year, and Carolina ... well they just stunk.  If I were Tampa Bay, I wouldn't be planning a long haul in the playoffs.

Tenth, I'm spoiled.  The Broncos have had so few (4?) losing seasons in the last quarter century that I am just not used to them losing.  It's bad; it hurts my soul.  They failed at the two things that I thought they would fail at; pressure on the quarterback and run defense.  The most tragic thing is that they have faced every bit as much of the injury woes as Indianapolis and still lost when they needed to win.  Worse, they got blown out in 4 games ... one by the Raiders.  I just can't cope with that kind of 'FAIL!'  But, on the plus side, they did whip the Chiefs in Arrowhead.

I should get my playoff predictions up tomorrow.  'Till then, peace out.

Gross

Jackson just licked the camera.  Look, I'm all for celebrating touchdowns, but could they please attempt not to be the Icky when they do it?

In A World That Should Be

Do you love college football?  Do you hate the fact that we are supposed to call Division 1-AA the "Championship Playoff Subdivision" while the 1-A weenies continue with the opinion driven joke that is the BCS?  (Don't you love the fact that last year's {and probably this year's} CPS champion whooped up on an early season favorite for the BCS?)  Aren't you at least a little bitter that undefeated Hawaii doesn't get to play for a National Championship, and yet twice defeated LSU does?  Don't you yearn for a playoff in 1-A?

Of course you do!  Well it ain't gonna happen, cupcake.  But, I'd rather light a candle than curse the darkness, and so I give you ESPN's College Football Virtual Playoff.  I've only spent a modicum of minutes with this puppy, but one could, in all seriousness, spend hours.  See who wins with BCS bracketing, or create your own.  There are other options for preset, but ... whatever.  Knock yourself right out.

The results are almost never identical throughout, though the Champions repeat with some similarity.  The telling part, for me, is that I have yet to come up with a scenario where number one ranked Ohio State wins the prize.  Kinda odd, that.  Though it will pain my niece, I'm gonna laugh my ass off if they do.