Lizard's family has lost a friend, a companion, a beautiful child. Though Lizard and I are a far cry from what anyone would consider 'friends' I've shed some tears on his behalf over the last 24. Losing a dog (that sounds so tawdry, "a dog") is a thing I wish on absolutely no one. Not even Dubya Bush. I dread encountering posts or news on the Intertubes concerning the loss of a dog. I know those people are in pain, and there is nothing that can be done save to share the pain, and wish it were not so. Regardless of any religious belief, I find it the cruelest thing in the Universe that humans live so very many years, and dogs live so few.
I grew up with stock. some of whom I loved as pets. The only animals I had as true companions were cats. Our dogs were always Aussies, and they tend to be single person canines. I was never that person and I was fine with that. Over a quarter of a century ago, dogs came into my life that were 'mine', two little Shetland Sheep Dogs named Sheena and Fenris. Brother and sister. They were 'vocal' and messy and I couldn't have loved them more. But, at the request of my human companion at the time, I gave them up because we were moving into married student housing. I cried for 4 full hours, doubling over in agony, and have frequently told people since that day was one of the most painful in my entire life. When Chris and I first got a dog together, I told my beloved that I will never give up a canine companion again. I love Chris for so many reasons, not the least of which is that she so completely understands and agrees.
A little over 3 years ago, we had Mara put to sleep. I really kinda thought I was over that. Yet every time I hear or read of someone losing a dog, I simply can't help crying. Silly people have called orgasm 'the little death'. No. Just No. Losing a companion that loves so completely and so very honestly, that is a little death. A part of you just goes away. I don't believe in Rainbow Bridges or happy reunions at the Dog Park in the sky. These beings whose love is among the best to be had are just gone, taking a part of who you are with them. That's a wound that never heals. It will always be fresh, in that awful 'Hurts like hell' kinda way.
Yet we go on, and indeed we should. We stupidly fall in love with even more dogs, knowing that another part of our hearts will get 'removed' someday in the future. And that truly is okay, because each one adds so much to what we experience when we are alive, and they are alive to add to it. They do what few other humans can do. They see us as the best of what we can be. They don't question, or demand agreement. They don't sit in judgement. They don't care if our farts smell or we yell at them in frustration or that we act like they are somehow lesser beings or that we got the raise at work or that we like a manicured backyard more than their playful antics. They just think we are all that and then some.
Maybe when I get older and even more of a curmudgeon, I'll be able to say a hearty ~pshaw~ when someone I know loses a good friend. That isn't this day. Lizard, I really do share your pain, and understand the depth of love it took to generate. My sympathy. All my sympathy.