Half Caved-in Pineapple Head

Some of the most quotable material I've ever read:

"I'll tell you who's got a lot of balls," he said to me. "Senator Conrad Burns. He talked about his lobby-reform plan today, but check it out, he's throwing a thousand-buck-a-plate birthday party for himself tomorrow night. I'm surprised he didn't show up on the Hill today in a fucking Hamburglar costume."

Though Abramoff would later claim that he himself was the "softest touch in town," in reality he probably meant he was the second-softest, after the wrinkly senator from Montana. Burns, a mean-spirited dipshit, is one of dozens of craven morons whose presence has only recently been detected, with the aid of the Abramoff scandal.

There were about fifty people present, all in suits and all with name tags representing everyone from the NRA to Motorola to the White House; they all started furiously shaking one another's hands and gaping at one another's name tags, like dogs sniffing each other in a Central Park run.

Up close, the senator looks like little more than a big exhausted lump -- like a sack of potatoes with a mushy, half-caved-in pineapple on top.

...he snorted, half-assedly shaking my hand and quickly ditching me in favor of a crowd of telecom suits.

Such is the staggering impression left by Montana's junior senator, Conrad Burns.  Read all about it in Rolling Stone magazine, courtesy of Matt Taibbi.  Read more Montana impressions about it here, here and  here.

My uncle worked for many years in Washington DC, and to the best of my knowledge still does.  He told my mother, and we've no reason to doubt him, that Conrad Burns is seen on the Hill as a joke, an awful hick who has no reason to be there, and wouldn't be if he didn't bow to the will of special interests who fund his campaigns.  This article bears out that impression.  Now, it might be spun that Washington elitists just don't understand his folksy nature the way that Montanans do, but you seriously have to wonder ... how effective, for Montana, can a man be as a legislator if he has to sell his influence to be respected?  There's a reason he has the lowest approval rating of any Senator in the country.  We can do better, Montana.

Taibbi just punked the Burns operation, and had them interested in supporting FartOilGas.  That's a reflection on you, Montana.  Burns doesn't represent what Montana is, or what we are about.  It's time to send Pineapple Head packing.

Bigsky2006, over at what is quickly becoming the troll-ridden FreeperMontana, says this:

McDonald also must realize that Conrad Burns and Denny Rehberg are in touch with the Ag community in Montana while his Senate and House candidates are not.

Really?  Apparently, Conrad is in touch with lobbyists, and nothing more.  And BS2006 quickly forgets that there is another man running for Senate who might have a thing or two to say about the AG community.

Tester’s roots as a humble organic farmer, evidenced by the worn and cracking leather boots poking from beneath his slacks, seemed to play well with the college crowd. He spent time discussing alternative energies, sustainable living and even dishing out some organic shopping tips (buy bulk and save!). He said that if America made a serious effort to develope bio-diesel, ethanol and other renewable fuels, it could become independent from overseas oil supplies in five to six years.

“If I wasn’t doing this (running for senate) I’d be growing oil seeds and be pressing my own oil, because energy independence is a personal goal for me as well,” Tester said.

Let's trade up.  Let's get rid of Half caved-in Pineapple Head for someone better ... a lot better.

Comments

[grannyinsanity]

I was going to run for Connie's seat, but like the governor, I couldn't get to a tropical island in time to file.

Oh well, everybody that Tester has talked to is already sold anyway, and he has been out talking to Democratic groups that Morrison hasn't gotten around to RSVP'ing yet.

John Morrison is doing a really good job where he is at, and I appreciate that, but he does not seem to be prepared to make the 2006 Senate race.

[S]

Actually, while it is a good description, that's not very nice to pineapples - if you cut their tops off, you can plant the spiky green part & it will grow a pretty plant and a new pineapple (ok, not in Montana, but it works in Florida!) but if we cut Burnsies top off, we'd be lucky to grow maggots (after all, they have to have something to eat that isn't money). I think his "folksy nature" gives the worst impression possible on Montanans...

[Nicole]

Thanks for alerting me to this article. I've been anxiously awaiting my RS issue, and Taibbi doesn't disappoint. He rarely does.

[moorcat]

The Rolling Stones magazine isn't the only people having an issue with Burns. Last week I was witness to conversation between a number of random people waiting to mail a package at the post office and the talk was definitely NOT supportive of Burns. This kind of surprised me considering the rather conservative slant to my local community.

[Mark]

I think that Burns gets a free pass from the Montana media - sure, they've been regurgitating things written nationally on the Abramoff scandal as if it were original investigative reporting. But they've done damned little of their own coverage - any interviews? Any burrowing around behind the scenes, talking to ex-staff, snooping around the hill? No - nothing like that goes on. Burns, who should live in a fish bowl, lives in a private palace. We don't know who is financing him, lobbying him, what bills he's pushing, who is visiting him, where he and his staff are spending their Sundays. Thank God for parts of the national media that are on the ball, or all that we would know of Burns would be his 30 second propaganda spots.